Funny Doctor Jokes--Funny Jokes Of The Day

Funny Doctor Jokes

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.  

When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice

 I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. 

Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. 

Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.  

"Doc! I took our advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house

Stupid Bird Jokes

Stupid Bird 

There was a robber and he went to this big house on a hill 

Well when he saw the Priest wasn't home he went into the house 

Before he had even taken two steps, he heard a voice say "Jesus is watching you and so am I" 

The burglar turned around and saw a parrot in a cage 

"Oh it's just a stupid bird" he said Right after he took a couple more steps, he heard the parrot say 

"Jesus is watching you and so am I" 

"Shut up you stupid bird" he said 

As he continued he was about level with the dinning table when he heard the parrot say 

"Jesus is watching you and so am I" 

Before he could turn to say shut up he heard a low growl come from under the table and a huge pit bull came out 

The parrot said "Sic um Jesus" 

My Point Exactly Jokes

My Point Exactly 

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. 

After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. 

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around. 

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear,

 "what do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!" 

Wife And Mistress--Funny Military Jokes

Wife And Mistress 

An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. 

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. 

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. 

The engineer said, 

"I like both." 

"Both?" asked the architect and artist in unison. 

The engineer replied, 

"Yeah. If you have a wi