13 Really Funny Military Jokes

13 Really Funny Military Jokes

1) What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and his aircraft? 

The plane stops whining when you shut down the engines.

2) Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"

"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."

"Oh? And what does your father do?"

"He's in the Army, sir."

3) Q: What do you call a Soldier who can read and write?

A: Colonel.

4) Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" 

Soldier: "Sure, buddy." 

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" 

Officer: " Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" 

Soldier: "No, SIR!"

5) Whats The Difference Between A Ferrari And A Navy Wife?

Not Every Coastie Has Been In A Ferrari!!!

6) A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says: - You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.

7) The Marine walked into a gay bar and said "Here I am". The Bartender ask "Why are you here"? The Marine said "I saw your sign saying "We're looking for a few good men".

8) You Know What They Say About Being In The Navy... 

If You Don't Sleep On Your Back.... Someone Will.

9) Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?

They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

10) Q: What Do You Call A Female Marine With Only 1 Std?

A: A Boot.

11) Why does the NAVY have marines on their ships???? 

So the Officers have some one to dance with

12) Soldier in his letter home, wrote: "This army life so I wore out that I was to resemble a photograph on the identity of military personnel.

13) Q. What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160?

A. Platoon