The Funniest Military Jokes One Liners
Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
Clothing Government Military Murphy’s Laws Size
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
Another such victory, and we are undone.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
Surprise is an event that takes place only in the mind of a commander.
Smart bombs have bad days too.
If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War Battleships Statemanship
Government Military Murphy’s Laws Places
When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war… just a greater
Clothing Conflict Government Military War Homosexuals
Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
Animals Government Military Money Generals Horses
It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.
If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War Battleships Statemanship
There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share to take.
The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.
All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.
Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws Plowshares
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust; these people are called soldiers
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
Blake Clark
Surprise is an event that takes place only in the mind of a commander.
If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.
As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
Military Murphy’s Laws Incoming fire
All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
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