Thứ Ba, 17 tháng 1, 2017

Mothers Day Jokes

Mothers Day Jokes

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? 
A: "Where's Popcorn?" 

Q: Why is a computer so smart? 
A: Cause it listens to its motherboard. 

Q: What do you call a mom who can't draw? 
A: Tracy. 

Q: Why did the cookie cry? 
A: Because his mother was a wafer so long! 

Q: What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip)? 
A: The internet, Telephone, Tell your mom. 

Q: What do you call a small mom? 
A: minimum. 

Q: What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? 
A: catch up! 

Q: Why don't mothers wear watches? 
A: There's a clock on the stove. 

Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? 
A: Because his mom was in a jam! 

Q: What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost? 
A: I want my mummy.

Q: What did the momma say to the foal? 
A: Its pasture your bedtime 

Q: What book do moms like the most? 
A: "Their husbands checkbook!" 

Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider? 
A: You spend too much time on the web. 

Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? 
A: It's time to go to sweep! 

See more: Jokes for adults

Thứ Sáu, 6 tháng 1, 2017

Cheetah Jokes Funny

Cheetah Jokes

Q: Why can't you play cards in the African Savvana? 
A: Because of all the CHEETAHS! 

Q: What is Tiger Woods now changing his name to? 
A: "LION Cheetah!" 

Q: If Tiger Woods is not really a Tiger then what is he? 
A: A CHEETAH! 

Q: Why didn't the leapord cross the road? 
A: He didn't want to get spotted. 

Q: Which side of a cheetah has the most spots? 
A: THE OUTSIDE! 

Q: What animal is bad to sit by when you're takingg a test? 
A: A cheetah. 

Q: What's a cheetah running a copy machine called? 
A: A copycat! 

Q: Did you hear about the fat cat that lost everything trying to count cards at the casino? 
A: Cheetahs never prosper. 

Q: Where does a cheetah sleep? 
A: Anywhere he wants to! 

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? 
A: A terrified postman. 

Q: What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a snowman? 
A: Frost-bite! 

Q: What do you get if you cross a cheetah and a sheep? 
A: A polka dot sweater. 

Q: What's spotted and goes round and round? 
A: A cheetah in a revolving door. 

Q: Why can't leopards escape from the zoo? 
A: They always get spotted. 

Q: What does the cheetah say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ? 
A: 'Let us prey.' 

Q: What do you get if you cross a cheetah with a watchdog ? 
A: A terrified postman ! 

Q: What's the difference between a cheetah and a lion ? 
A: A cheetah has the mane part missing 

Q: Why isn't there gambling in africa. 
A: because there are to many cheetahs. 

Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 12, 2016

Ant Jokes Funny

Ant Jokes

Why was the baby ant confused? 
Because all his uncles were ants. 

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes? 
Antteneye! 

What do you call an and with frogs legs? 
An antphibian! 

What do you call an ant that won't go away? 
Permanant 

Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? 
Because he was pissed off. 

What kind of ants are very learned? 
Pedants! 

What do you call an ant who can't speak? 
A mutant (mute ant). 

Why did the ant cross the road? 
Because he needed to buy deodorant! 

What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant? 
deadant deadant deadant deadant. 

What do you call a well-dressed ant? 
Elegant! If three ants are lost in a jungle. 

Who do u call to find them? 
The Minister of finance.(find-ants) 

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano? 
Discordant! 

What kind of ant is good at maths? 
An accountant! 

Where do ants go for their holidays? 
Frants! 

What do you call an ant who skips school? 
A truant! 

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics? 
All sorts of antics! 

See more: Funny adult jokes

Thứ Năm, 22 tháng 12, 2016

Presidents' Day Jokes Funny

Presidents' Day Jokes Funny

What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? 
They licked the British. 

How do you to play War of 1812? 
You burn down a White House. 

What kind of tea did the American colonists want? 
Liberty. 

Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington's army? 
Laughayette 

What was the most popular dance in 1776? 
Indepen-dance. 

Do you know the 16th President of the United States? 
No, we were never introduced! 

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? 
It can't sit down. 

Where was the Declaration of Independance signed? 
At the bottom! 

What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents? 
A CORNservative. 

Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? 
He didn't want any Bushes at the 

Whats the best birthday gift you can give to George W? 
An Exit Strategy from Iraq. 

What is Bill Clinton favorite instrument? 
A sexaphone! 

See more: Funny short jokes

Thứ Tư, 14 tháng 12, 2016

Hair Color Joke Funny

Hair Color Joke Funny


After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. 

"Doctor," he said, 

"I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." 

"Nonsense," the doctor said. 

"Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." 

"It isn't possible," the man insisted. 

"We're pure Asian." 

"Well," said the doctor, 

"let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed ashamed. 

"I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month." 

"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. 

"It's just rust." 

Thứ Tư, 7 tháng 12, 2016

Virility Joke Funny

Virility Joke Funny



Three men, a Jewish man, a Catholic man, and a Mormon man, were having drinks at the bar following a business meeting. 

The Jewish man, bragging about his virility, said, 

"I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team!" 

The Catholic man pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, 

"That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons. One more and I'll have a football team." 

To which the Mormon man replied, 

"You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!" 

Thứ Năm, 1 tháng 12, 2016

Mummy Jokes Funny

Mummy Jokes Funny


Q: What was the mummies' vacation like? 
A: Nobody knows. They were too wrapped up to tell us. 

Q: What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? 
A: Wrap!!!!! 

Q: Why was the mummy so tense? 
A: Because he was all wound up. 

Q: What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? 
A: Ok, that's a wrap. 

Q: Why did the mummy cross the road? 
A: To get un wrapped 

Q: What do you call a mummy who eats cookies in bed? 
A: A crummy mummy! 

Q: Why don't mummies take vacations? 
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind. 

Q: Where do mummies go for a swim? 
A: To the dead sea 

Q: What do you call a little monsters parents
A: mummy and deady 

Q: How do you scare a mummy 
A: with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.